January 21, 2010

band names over the years.

I spent way more time coming up with clever band names than I ever spent learning an instrument. Which is maybe why I have this awesome list but can only play one instrument, and by "play" I mean strum and sound not unlike a remedial toddler with no thumbs. Anyway, band names:

Lesbian Driftwood*
Chicks Dig Pus
Topiary Manitoba
Guys in Black Vans**
First-Grade Pennies

*a collaborative effort with a college friend, who used to tell people that this was our all-girl folk band.
**In the alternate universe where I am a musician involved in multiple cross-genre projects, I wouldn't even be in this band. It would be comprised of the boyfriends of the women in Chicks Dig Pus. Kind of like how The Misfits was comprised of the nemeses of Jem and the Holograms. Update: Upon reviewing the "Jem and the Holograms" Wikipedia entry, I discovered that Jem was dating the frontman of The Stingers. So that would have been a better pop-culture reference to make, had my Jem-knowledge been up to the task. I won't fail you again, reader.

January 8, 2010


I drove halfway across the country as fast as possible with Willa in the backseat. My parents came, too. There were no major events worth reporting, except for some wonderful things my Mom said:

Mom [pretending to read from the Triple-A travel guide*]: Oh look, it says here Fort Stockton is a shithole. Population 7,526.

Dad [flipping channels on their hotel-room television]: The Sound of Music is on.
Mom: I hate that movie, it's so cheesy.
Me: You hate The Sound of Music?! You can't hate The Sound of Music, it means you have no soul. Or a black, black heart.
Mom: Oh, tell me you don't want to shoot yourself when that head nun starts singing, "Climb Every Mountain."

* Go to Triple A and ask them to make a little spiral-bound map of your route next time you take a long car trip. It includes information about every city you pass through, including hotels and restaurants. And for the record, Triple A didn't really call Fort Stockton a shithole. It's a lovely place where some of the hotels have jets in the bathtub, and for this I am eternally grateful.